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”Yeah.” My breathing became uneven. ”What is a limit for you?” ”I have yet to find out,” I said. Those words have never been more true now he was this close to me, talking about this particular subject. I couldn’t be making all this tension between us up, could I? Eddy stroked my side and lingered at the curve of my hip. “Thought girls your age didn’t like bathing suits,” he said. ”I’m too fat for a bikini.” His eyes widened. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, his voice deep. He glared at me, as if he tried to communicate further without words, but I was too nervous to listen to his body language. What had gotten into me? Had I not wished for an opportunity like this? And what if I was reading his signals all wrong and he’d be freaked out if I made a move? ”I am.” I moved away a bit, smiling awkwardly. I was torn between my horniness and my common sense. The disappointed look on his face made me regret moving away immediately. “Have you seen my butt?” I said, gathering myself. ”What’s wrong with your butt?” Eddy asked. ”It’s huge!” I laughed. “Which I actually like. Here,” I said as I took his hands and led them towards my behind. He didn’t stop me, so I placed his hands on both cheeks, while other cheeks flushed red. ”Never took you for a shy girl,” he whispered, so soft I could barely hear him. We stared at each şişli escort bayan other for quite some time without saying a word, until I moved a bit closer. ”Never took you for a pervert,” I teased with a smile. In reaction, he squeezed, soft and hesitant, but enough to get a moan out of me. ”We should go back,” he said, not removing his hands or loosening his grip. ”Should we?” ”Yes.” ”Why?” ”Because I want to do something I really shouldn’t do.” The lust rushing over me made me stop grinning. I’m sure he could see the heat in my eyes as I looked up to him. Gently, I bit my lip. He suddenly let go of me. “Come, let’s go back.” He started swimming, but I called him back with slight panic in my voice. “Eddy?” He turned around. ”What’s wrong, sugar?” ”You mad at me?” He smiled. “Never. Never ever. Don’t you worry.” We sunbathed, took a few more swims separately and somewhere in the late afternoon went back home. I was too afraid to talk to Eddy, so after dinner I went straight to my room. I worried that I had pushed my luck too far. Had I gotten myself into trouble? Now the strike of pure lust had ebbed away, I cursed myself for my forwardness. It was wrong. Even though I had always believed desire shouldn’t be denied, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was a freak. And more importantly, I wondered if Eddy thought mecidiyeköy escort bayan I was a freak. I wiped the tears away and pulled out my sketchbook to draw. It always helped me to clear my mind, and this time was no different. It took a while, but eventually I was calm and had my attention focused completely on my drawings, so the knock on my door made me nearly shit my pants. I cursed and dropped my pencil. “What?!” ”Remember to do the dishes before you go to bed,” mom said. “And remember I don’t like you cursing.” ”Whatever,” I said. Sigh. I forgot it was my turn to do the dishes. ”I’m going to bed. Night,” my mother said. She sounded tired – tired of me. ”Night.” I walked downstairs, moody and still wearing my black dress. Mother always wanted the house to be a bit cold. The air around my legs felt chilly, and I disliked it. It was almost summer and in broad daylight it felt like it was, but as soon as night fell, it got cold, as if it was already autumn. I filled up the sink with warm water and started washing off the plates. ”Need help?” I jumped up. “Fuck, Eddy, you scared me.” He chuckled. “Sorry.” I let him help me, but both of us stayed quiet. It was a loaded silence, and I could tell he was trying to find the right words to say. He never did though, so when we were done, I wished escort şişli him good night and was ready to walk back upstairs. He stopped me by talking. “I feel like I need to apologize.” ”For what?” I asked. He rolled his eyes. “You know…” He then looked away and leaned against the kitchen table. He sighed and threw is hands in the air. “I don’t know what happened.” ”Nothing happened,” I said, still grumpy. ”That’s not exactly true now, is it?” His eyes met mine and I felt a bit sorry for him. Clearly, his conscious was torturing him. ”It bothers you, hm?” He nodded. ”Because of my mother?” We both made sure our voices were soft. Their bedroom was on the third floor of the house, and we would hear her coming if she did, but still… ”Because you are my stepdaughter,” he said. “Look, could we not… talk about this?” ”You started.” I turned around to walk away but he grabbed my arm. ”I need to know that you don’t feel bad about this. I need to know I did not violate you.” His voice was unsteady but demanding, his eyes pleading. I felt a sharp pain in my chest. ”Oh Eddy,” I sighed. “Don’t do this to yourself. You did nothing wrong. Nothing even happened, I was just fooling around. If there’s someone to blame, clearly it would be me.” ”It can’t happen again.” I nodded. ”I mean, nothing happened, yeah, but it… can’t happen.” I nodded again. ”I can’t be tempted again.” ”Thought you didn’t want to talk about this,” I said. ”I figured it would make it easier if I said out loud that I can’t flirt with you,” he sighed, letting go of my arm finally. ”I am an adult,” I said.

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