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Carly and I have had a thing for years. We don’t demand exclusivity — well, she’s already married — but have agreed to be honest with one another, which seems to come easier to me than to her, mostly because she has a talent for getting herself into indescribable trouble. She is impulsive and also has a lot of sexual energy, and that’s lovely, and I have told her, I don’t really mind if things happen sometimes, but I don’t like surprises.
To her, not-mentioning-something is different from lying about it: not-telling me that something happened, when it did, is okay, whereas telling me something didn’t happen, when it did, would be a lie. Also, telling me something happened, when it didn’t, is also a lie, in my mind, but she doesn’t see it that way. To complicate things, she is a very creative trouble-finder. She is a ceaseless flirt and sometimes one thing leads to another, and sometimes it takes a while before I find out about things. Plus, and here’s the hard part, to keep me off-balance she will sometimes drop details that are designed to lead me in the wrong direction. Or worse, she will exaggerate and make up details to try to make me paranoid, as some kind of serves-ya-right that she thinks I deserve. I on the other hand get into normal trouble, I’ll occasionally follow my dick into some situation and then have to do some splainin’ and eventually it’s okay again. Though of course she’ll never let me forget the most minor infraction.
Here. Here’s what I’m talking about. The other day we had planned to meet for coffee at a place we know. I had been sitting at a table for several minutes when I saw her coming, looking gorgeous, walking across the plaza in her orange sundress, appearing a little worried. I know this look and figured, okay let’s see what she’s gotten herself into this time. In line for coffee, the usual pleasantries, plus, “I should warn you, you might see me on the news tonight.”
“Really? For what?”
“Tell you when we sit down,” she said.
… “So, you had an adventure today, I take it.”
“Yeah, I got stuck in an elevator. Firemen had to rescue me.”
“And I guess news guys showed up?” She nodded. “How long were you stuck for?”
“Good question,” she said. Looking at her phone: “I see I texted you at twelve-oh-seven, then I got, then the next message was at one-fifteen. So a little more than an hour.”
“Wow, I bet that was scary.”
“Yes, it was. We didn’t even know if they knew we were in there.”
“We? So there were others?”
“Just me and one other guy,” she said.
“I see. How’d this happen?'”
Here’s how she explained the first part of the story. Carly had been at the mall, looking for a card for her neighbor’s birthday. She parked in the parking garage across the street, with a walkway between the buildings, and when she was finished shopping she went across at the fourth level, to get to her car at the second level. Her legs were tired so she took the elevator.
Turns out there was another person waiting for the elevator, too, a man somewhat younger than her. She did not give a description but I got the message that the two of them were joking around waiting for the elevator, and that he was apparently nice looking and well dressed. He told her he worked in one of the stores and was going to do some errands at lunchtime. I could tell she was not sorry to meet this handsome stranger. The elevator doors opened, they stepped in.
She explains it to me over coffee.
“Everything was fine at first, all normal and everything,” she said. “The doors closed, the arrow lit up. I felt it start to go down and then clunk, it clunked and all the lights went out and we stopped.”
“So there’s you and this hunky guy in the dark together,” I said.
“Are you kidding?” she said. “I didn’t know this guy from Adam. I just met him. It was scary.”
“You were scared of him?”
“No, that didn’t occur to me. He seemed like a nice enough guy. But it was dark and we were stuck. He had been joking while we waited, and he was pretty funny. And I know what you’re thinking. No, he had been a perfect gentleman.”
“I’m sure he was. What did you do when it stopped?”
“I waited for a minute, then I got out my phone and tried to make a call but there was no signal in there. He couldn’t get any either. I turned on the flashlight app but what’s the use, there’s nothing to see and it was just going to run down my battery.”
“Good point. So you stood there waiting.”
“I was standing by the door and I started to yell but he told me not to. It was loud in there, you know how my voice is. Anyway I could tell nobody could hear us, we were in a fucking steel box between floors. I was standing by the door and he went and sat down in the back corner.”
“Did you talk?”
“A little bit. Look, you don’t have to get jealous about this, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t even know the guy.”
“I’m not –“
“That seemed like a good idea, so I sat in the other corner. It started to get hot in there.”
“I bet it did.”
“No, not like that, why escort bayan maltepe do you have to be like that? I mean it was actually hot, like an oven, but not that hot really. It was absolutely dark so I was fanning myself with my skirt, holding it up by my face and fluffing it.”
“Good idea, I wouldn’t have thought of that.”
“You wouldn’t be wearing a skirt, Doc, duh. It worked pretty well. But I was still sweating like crazy, down there, so I very quietly took off my panties and put them in my purse so I could fan a little air on my, you know, on my crotch.”
“If it was perfectly dark, nobody could see,” I said.
“Exactly.” She seemed glad that I understood. “Well then we were talking, and this big man seemed like he was actually terrified, like a scared little boy. So I offered to give him a hug. To make him feel better.”
“That was very decent of you,” I said. She gave me a look as if she may have doubted my sincerity. It was a beautiful summer afternoon. We were sitting under a big umbrella on the plaza.
“You know me, I’m a hugger, it’s just how I am, I’m everybody’s mama. He said a hug would be nice so I scooted over to him. I couldn’t see anything but I could hear him breathing, and when I got close I reached out to hug him, and this was really embarrassing.” She paused. “I should probably stop, you’re going to get mad.”
“Why would I get mad?”
“Okay, I’ll just tell you the truth, like always. When I reached over to give him a hug I accidentally reached to the wrong place and my hand ended up on his dick.”
“Woops,” I said, with a laugh. “I guess things like that happen when you can’t see what you’re doing.”
“Exactly. And you know how some guys get a hard-on when they’re scared?”
“No,” I said, “I have never heard of that.”
“Well some guys do, anyway he had a hard-on, in his work slacks.”
“Huh, that sounds a little awkward,” I said.
“Will you stop? You get so mad at me for nothing.”
“I’m not mad.”
“Yes you are, I can tell.”
“So that was your hug, you reached over and put your hand on his erection?”
“Not on purpose. I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to do, so I just didn’t move my hand. And then I scooted the rest of me over so I was up against him, kind of like a hug. Maybe more of a snuggle, which is the same thing but not just your arms.”
“That sounds nice and comforting for both of you,” I said.
“I think he felt better then,” she said. “I was on my side and we were sort of talking in the dark. Oh, and then something happened, it was like we accidentally kissed.”
“Wow, you don’t waste any time, do you,” I said.
“Damn it Doc, don’t be like that. Your jealousy is unbearable. It wasn’t a real kiss, we just both turned our heads at the same time and our lips met. And then neither one of us knew which one was going to turn their head to break away. It was really uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, I know how that is,” I said. “And so how long did that last for?”
“Oh, just a few seconds, well maybe a minute or two, I don’t know, there was no clock and I wasn’t going to get out my phone and look at the time in the middle of all that embarrassment and confusion.”
“Sure,” I said.
“Then he was still scared I guess so he rolled over toward me to give me a hug, too.”
“And you could tell he was scared because he still had a hard-on.”
“Exactly, and Doc, don’t get jealous but, I mean I didn’t see it or anything in the dark, but I could tell it was a big one. Like halfway to his knee.”
“So he rolled over to hug you.”
“Oh yeah, that was while we were kissing. And I had totally forgotten that I didn’t have my panties on. Because, you know, I didn’t think anybody could possibly notice in the dark.”
“Yes it does seem like a safe bet. And did anybody notice?”
“I couldn’t believe it, Doc, he made the same exact mistake I made. He was going to give me a hug and his hand went to the wrong place.”
“And by the way, where was your hand at this time?”
“It was right where it had been all along,” she said. “I didn’t move it. I mean I moved it, so it wouldn’t fall asleep or anything, but I was so embarrassed and I just left it where it was.”
“And so now he accidentally discovered you didn’t have any panties on.”
“I was mortified,” she said. “But he was a real gentleman, he didn’t say anything, he just left his hand resting there like nothing had happened. Well sometimes he’d move it, like while he was talking or something.”
“And still nobody came to rescue you.”
“No, we didn’t even know if anybody had noticed the elevator was stuck.”
“And no air conditioning.”
“Right. I was so sweaty, I was afraid he would think I was, you know, wet down there. But it was just sweat. I was soaked.”
“I bet he was hot, too.”
“Yes he was. After a while he sat up and took his shirt off.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said. “Especially if he had to go back to work later. He has to keep it clean.”
“He was so sweaty he escort bayan ümraniye was getting it all over me.”
“I’m sorry, Carly, I hope your dress didn’t get all soaked.”
“It didn’t, but I did.”
“I see.”
“Then he lay back down next to me, like we were before.”
“Sure, hugging.”
“And this was weird Doc, and you’ll probably be mad, but I was freaking out. I was so scared that I had a kind of orgasm.”
“An orgasm? From being scared?”
“Don’t tell me you never heard of that before,” Carly said. “We were talking and kissing, you know, and I don’t think he realized but his fingers were moving and they were, you know, right there, touching me sort of. I tried to be quiet about it, I’m not sure he noticed.”
“Not sure he noticed your orgasm?”
“Yeah, it was no big thing. He just happened to be kind of tickling me in just the right way, accidentally, while we talked.”
“Sure, that happens sometimes. And I guess your hand was still on his pecker.”
“God, Doc, don’t make it sound like that. But I was getting curious about just how big this thing was. It was kind of bouncing, jumping at my fingers through his pants while I tried to figure out a polite way to move my hand to a different place.”
“I guess you could have asked him how big it was.”
“I did make a joke about it, I said, ‘It feels like you’re glad to see me.'”
“Did he laugh?”
“No he didn’t get it. He said, ‘Actually I can’t see you at all in the dark. But your hand feels good.’ I said ‘you’re welcome.'”
“I’m glad you were polite with him.”
“And then maybe this is sort of when it started to get weird. He said, ‘It’s so hot in here. It’s lucky for you that you’re not wearing pants.’ I think he meant panties, but whatever. And I said, ‘yeah, it’s a lot cooler this way,’ and he said, ‘I think I’ll do that, too.'”
“Well it was pitch black, not like you’re going to see anything.”
“I’m glad you understand, Doc,” Carly said. “And then he laid down again and we were still hugging and sometimes we kept accidentally kissing. It was so dark, we couldn’t see what we were doing.”
“At least he was a little cooler now. I guess you kept your dress on.”
“Yes, Doc, of course, what do you think I am?”
“So now you two are in this dark elevator, he’s bare naked and you don’t have any panties on, you’ve been kissing and you’ve already had an orgasm, is that about right?”
“You make it sound so dirty,” she said. “Remember, we didn’t ask for this. We didn’t even know each other.”
“And your hand was still on his cock?”
“We just went back exactly how we had been. I didn’t do anything different, and neither did he. But now at least I could feel how big his dick was.”
“There you go, your curiosity satisfied.”
“It would have been better if I could’ve seen it,” she said. “But even in the dark this thing was huge.”
“Didn’t you feel kind of bad being the only one who has an orgasm?”
“Actually it didn’t seem fair,” Carly said. “His cock was so big I could barely get my hand around it. I mean, it was too big, you know? He was so scared, the thing was like a baseball bat. I wished I had a way to help him relax.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what you could do. I guess you could have given him a massage.”
“Wow, good idea, Doc, I wish I’d thought of that. I was thinking, well what do guys do to relax when they’re uptight? And of course you know what they do.”
“I know what I do,” I said.
“Exactly. You jerk off.”
“Well that wasn’t –“
“So I offered to help him relax and he thought that was okay.”
“You always were the helpful type.”
“I know that’s a little unusual, but the whole situation was unusual. We had to improvise.”
“I’m glad you thought of a way to help him,” I said.
“At first I thought I might have to use both hands. But I figured out a way to do it with one hand, at least half of him, it was too long to, you know, pump the whole thing.”
“Yeah, maybe two hands would’ve been better. So how long did it take you to get him off?”
“I couldn’t do it, Doc. It was dark and he was scared, and I was trying to get his mind off it. But here’s the thing. He wouldn’t cum. And you know I know what I’m doing there, Doc, but I could not get him to cum. And I tried everything. He was laying on his back so I decided to just get on top of him and try to get that thing into my pussy.”
“Sure, pussy-to-dick resuscitation, that usually works.”
“Well I’d already got him started, I couldn’t leave him like that, terrified in the dark. So I was sitting on top of him but it wouldn’t go in at first. I had to reach down and pull my vagina open wider just to get him started. He had a strange one, it had a real big head on it, and then the rest of it was real fat, too, but not as fat as the head. I hadn’t counted on that, I was just trying to do the guy a favor.”
“Did you get it in?”
“Yeah, the trick was getting the head of it inside me. That took a long time, I had to wiggle from escort bayan kartal side to side, working it in, and Doc this is weird but I had another orgasm while I was trying to get him into me. It was stretching me and pulling on my clit, I guess, and kaplooey. He wasn’t even in yet.”
“Did he notice this time?”
“It was so dark in there you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. I don’t know what he noticed. I was making a little noise, though. He probably did.”
We were sitting at an outdoor table with people walking around us but nobody nearby. We liked this coffee place because it was not anywhere near where either of us knew anybody. Pigeons were hopping around looking for crumbs, a gentle breeze was blowing. Carly paused and then continued. “But anyway thank God we finally got that thing into me. It was long, too, did I mention that? I thought it would hurt but it wasn’t that bad. I took the whole thing.”
“I see, and you were on top of him.”
“Yeah I was on top, so I could kind of control how fast it would go. After I got the head inside me I went very slowly, like it might have taken four or five minutes to get it all. I would settle down on him a little and another fraction of an inch would push into me, and I’d have to get used to that, then I’d settle a little more. Maybe five minutes. Luckily he was hard as a rock. He’s got that going for him.”
“I’m glad you were able to go slow. It might have hurt you if he’d been in a hurry.”
“Exactly what I was thinking, Doc, gotta take this slow. And so it didn’t hurt, in fact, I know you’re going to be mad at me even though you always tell me you aren’t gonna get jealous, but it felt pretty good. Once he got the whole thing all the way in it felt great. But that took a long time.”
“I am a little surprised by all this but it’s kind of fascinating.”
“Okay, good, I figured you’d have a fit. Anyway once it was all the way in, wouldn’t you know, I came again.”
“Wow, what’s that, three?”
“I don’t know, Doc, it’s not like I counted them. But I was stuffed full, I’m not kidding, it reached up in there all the way to my eyeballs, almost. At first I thought I was going to split in half. I was on top so I started, you know, rocking my hips, trying to get used to this thing. I knew a guy in college with a big one like that, but he only used to hurt me. At least Marvin didn’t hurt me. I think it was because we went slow.”
“Marvin?”
“Yes, that was his name. Oh so now you’re going to get mad because his name was Marvin? You are terrible. What if his name was Joe, or Bob? Would that be better? Or maybe Tyrone.”
“So the two of you were cooling off in that dark elevator.”
“Ha, that’s a joke. We were both sweating like crazy. This turned out not really to be the way to cool down, though it did make us less scared, and that’s just as important as being cool. We tried it with him on top and that was amazing but it was not any cooler.”
“And nobody came?”
“Yes, Doc, I did. A bunch of times. I thought I told you that. I just about didn’t stop coming when he was on top, I was having one after the other. He was pounding me like a piledriver, like when they’re making a pier at the beach, ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam. He was going and going and kept on ticking, and I had one orgasm on top of the other, all strung together. I couldn’t count them, it was like one really long one. I told you that. You weren’t listening.”
“I mean nobody came to rescue you.”
“Oh, that, no, thank God. That would have been embarrassing.”
“Good point.”
“So by this time we had probably been in there for ten or fifteen minutes,” she said.
“I see,” I said. “So all this actually happened pretty fast.”
“Well we didn’t sit around practicing transcendental meditation,” she said. “It was scary. We had to do something or we thought we might die in there and nobody would know.”
“Sure, and he was so scared.”
“So where was I? Oh yeah. We weren’t talking any more. He was dripping sweat on me and I was having one stupid orgasm after another.”
“Stupid?”
“Yes, it was so pointless. I was just trying to help the guy, and there I was making a bunch of noise and popping them off right and left. Well not popping them off, these were big ones. Not like, never mind.”
“You were in there for an hour, you said?”
“Yes. He could go a long time, it turned out. A real long time. Hey, I didn’t know, I had thought he would just be a regular guy, we’d play around for a few minutes and get rescued and that’s that. But he didn’t quit. And he was energetic, he had this fast jackhammer thing he would do and I had to hold on for dear life. I mean, you do that sometimes, too, and I love it, but I’m sorry Doc, this was not the same thing. This guy was so deep he was ramming my tonsils. And sometimes he went real slow. And deep. Real deep. And then he would still keep pushing. I came until I couldn’t come any more, and finally I was worn out, and so I started trying to see if I could finish him off.”
“Well you’ve got some moves,” I said.
“Yes I do, Doc, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I gave it to him good and he just kept going. I finally had to blow him.”
“Oh, it’s good you thought of that,” I said, with a laugh. “I can’t imagine anybody withstanding one of your blow jobs, once you get serious about it.”
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