Ay: Ağustos 2023

Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
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Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms

Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl’s mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she’ll look like an angry dragon.

Arabian Goggles
A “seldom-seen” maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.

The Bait N’ Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you’re able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.

Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.

Beer Dick
This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.

Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there’s no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don’t let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.

Brown Necktie
You’re about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.

Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman’s breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying “Brunski” in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)

The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling’ some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting “Hey Rocky.” (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)

Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, “but her face”, is nasty.

The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!

The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.

The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl’s tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.

Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

Cock-Stuffing
Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your “buddy” to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!

Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick’s head while she’s performing fellatio.

The Concoction
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.

The Compton Gangbang
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she’s about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you’ve got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)

Cop’s Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her “pastry buns”, thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an over sized, quivering glazed donut.

The Corkscrew
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you’ll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you’ll be able to bore through wood.

Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is “Corn” means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; “Baby, you’re more> Corn than Green Giant”, or “Damn bitch, you are Corn!”

Couch Bombing
When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman…but no need to buy It dinner first

Coyote
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you’ve got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Cum Dumpster
A quadriplegic whore.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl’s throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

Daisy Chain
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.

Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal’s snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner’s now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.

Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

Dirty Swirly
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush…she’ll dig it.

Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl’s ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles Edirne Escort in the female’s ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

Duct Tape Trick
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.

Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you’re into that sort of thing).

Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.

DVDA
The abbreviation for “double-anal, double-vaginal”. This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.

The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.

Felching
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw… The Fish Eye From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.

Fish-Hook
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

The Fire Island
This consists of telling someone you’re going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don’t believe you, doing it just to prove that you’re that demented.

Flaming Amazon
This one’s for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then…extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flooding The Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman’s pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.

The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.

The Flying Dutchman
This didn’t used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, “Here comes the Flying Dutchman!” This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.

The Fountain Of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

Fur Ball
You’re chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie’s afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.

Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramp’s anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you’re done, if you want.

Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like watersports.

Greek
The act of using your “glue stick” (if you know what I’m saying) and gluing your gal’s eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. “Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!” or “Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad

Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman’s box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone’s appetite.

Hershey Highway
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don’t hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it’s extra lube.

High Dive
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner’s hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.

The Hindenburg
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you’re forced to cry “Oh! The humanity!” as her teeth scrape your man tool.

Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.

Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it’s in, or you’ll get a nice snapparoo.

Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn’t even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you’re slinging a small dick.

Hot Karl
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.

Hot Karl Candy Cane
A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.

Hot Lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl’s mouth.

Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.

The Hunter Gatherer
You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.

The Indian Cock Burn
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.

The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout “I’m NOT fucking you, I’m NOT fucking you”.

The Jelly Donut
Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.

The Juanita Special Bean Dip
While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita “special” bean dip.

Kennebunkport Surprise
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.

Kick-Fucking
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.

The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme Edirne Escort Bayan to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.

The Lorena Bobbit
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)

The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.

The Mellon Dive
Headbutting a woman’s big fat titties. Always lots of fun.

Monkey Wrench
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.

Monroe Transfer
When you and your partner connect each other’s assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.

The Moped
A chick that’s a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.

The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)

Moses
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.

The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She’ll love you forever.

Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again.

The Mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.

Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.

New Jersey Meat-Hook
The unusual method of inserting one’s finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.

New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box. Happy trails.

The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, “I’m not a crook”. This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.

Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one’s testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.

Pasadena Mudslide
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)

Pattycake
While you’re nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.

Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.

Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
Shit on a woman’s snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth…depending on what you’ve been eating.)

Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl – it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.

The Pig Roast
While you’re plugging some girl’s hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she’s blowing your best friend’s cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.

Pink Glove
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

The Pirate’s Treasure
While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you’ve found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, “Argh!”, like a pirate.

Plating
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don’t see that on any Dawn commercials.

The Popcorn Trick
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn’t love buttered popcorn?

Puerto Rican Fog Bank
While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.

Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

Queef
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.

The Ram
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don’t let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It’s almost as much fun watch her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips

Red Wings
Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier!

Resuscitation
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn’t awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.

The Roddy Piper
When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.

The Rodeo
Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See Escort Edirne if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!

The Rose Creeper
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart’s neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.

The Rusty Trombone
This is what happens when you’ve got a less then respectable female (AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.

Sandbag
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.

The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

The Seatbelt
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom.

Shirley Temple
Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl’s menstruating pussy and eat her out.

The Shocker
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman’s vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)

Shop Vac
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you’re entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.

Shrimping
The term for licking or sucking your partner’s toes.

Skiing
While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.

Slumpbuster
When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.

Snerd Nurgling
The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, “Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd”…

Snoodling
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, “You Snoodler!”

Snowball
Ah yes, every man’s worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy’s fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.

The Snuff
Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you’re a snuff film superstar.

Stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

Stranger On The Rocks
Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.

Strangers In The Night
When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.

Stingy Nut
When a chick isn’t worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.

Sud N’ Fud
When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, “I not that kind of girl.”, “I don’t fuck on the first date.”, “I’m catholic.”, “Stop asshole.”, etc. etc… After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.

Surfing
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.

Swimmer’s Ear
When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.

Tea Bag
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kind of fucked up yoga exercise.

3-Eyed Turtle
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.

The Tortoise
When you eat out someone who doesn’t have pubic hair yet – i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.

Tossing Salad
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.)

Tropical Wind
When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.

Tuna Melt
You’re down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

Twisted Sister
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that’s some great S&M fun.

Vegetarian Hot Lunch
A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.

Wake Up Call
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. “Sweetheart, what’s that on your back?”

The Walrus
After spunking in a girl’s mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.

Western Grip
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.

Westside Glaze
Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.

The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.

The Zombie Mask
While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes” when you blow your load. Then, just when you’re ready to spew a good week’s worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

A Marine pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date Edirne Escort running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
The Edirne Escort Bayan intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?
He explains, “It uses Escort Edirne alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well”, explains the pilot, “it says you’re not wearing any panties….”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken, because I am wearing panties!”
The pilot taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”

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Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
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a very drunkman was laying on a beach jacking off when a little girl about 5 came walking toward him so he threw a newspaper over his erection..”whats under there?”asked the little girl…after a minute the man Edirne Escort replied his pet bird…”can i play with it?”..the man shakes his head,the girl walks away and the man falls asleep…he wakes up Edirne Escort Bayan in the hospital in tremendous pain and after asking the doctor what happenend the doctor told him he suffered mass Escort Edirne injury to his genitials….the man told police about the little girl maybe she saw something…the little girl was brought to the hospital and when asked she said,”well u had a pet bird on the beach so i played with it when he fell asleep and after a while it spit in my eye and hair,so i broke the birds neck,crushed his eggs,and set his nest on fire

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Ben Esra telefonda seni boşaltmamı ister misin?
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Q. What’s the difference between Escort Diyarbakır rel=’dofollow’ title=”Diyarbakır Escort Bayan”>Diyarbakır Escort Bayan title=”Diyarbakır Escort”>Diyarbakır Escort tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.

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Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
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one night a 13 year adopted kid walks in his moms room wakes her up and says that his foster dad is gone and that he is going to rape her she screams “nooooo” and slaps him across his african american face he goes to his room Düzce Escort crying slams his door and jumps on his bed and breaks one the pegs hears a weird sound and looks underneath his bed to see freshly dead foster Düzce Escort Bayan dad and thrn he starts screaming his head off his mom comes into the room with a shotgun and said what happened to your father Escort Düzce and the boy just starts crying again and said I…i…i killed him.why did he tell u about the sex hide and seek game we were playing
WHAT the boy yelled ooo did i say that aloud “yes yes you did now im gonna kill you” but not until you let me fuck you if you do ill let you live ok fine make it quick though _____moral fuck him the first time or every one dies

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What’s the German word for Escort Düzce rel=’dofollow’ title=”Düzce Escort Bayan”>Düzce Escort Bayan rel=’dofollow’ title=”Düzce Escort”>Düzce Escort VASELINE?
Ans: Eurweinerslider.

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“Oooh Tammy you keep sucking me like that and you’re going to make me cum in your mmmmoooouuuutttthhhh.”

I locked in on Tammy’s eyes and with her fingers wrapped around me she kept sucking until every last drop was consumed. She was so proud of what she had just accomplished. Tammy opened her mouth and allowed me to withdraw then with a big smile she was acting like she had just won first prize in a cock-sucking contest. Opening her mouth she presented to me my love juice stored in her mouth. Tammy closed her mouth smiled and with one large gulp she swallowed everything. Then reopened her mouth to show me what she was a good girl and there was nothing left.

Waking from a deep sleep there was a dim light coming from a strange window. Looking around the room confusion took hold of me. I sat straight up; I was scared not knowing where I was. My eyes were scanning the room surveying what was around me; then looking to my left laying next to me was my boss’ wife. My mind began to race; I cupped my hands to my face and started to think to myself. “What the hell is wrong with you? How in the world did you end up like this? How could you allow yourself to get involved with your boss’ wife and his daughters?” Your fucking married and in the last two weeks you fucked a 19 year-old, her younger 17 year-old sister and now you are in bed with their mother, who just happens to be your boss’s wife.

Looking around my surroundings I guess it wasn’t a dream after all but I actually fucked my boss’ wife. I was feeling ashamed of myself for what I had obviously just done made, it me feel dirty and cheap. I slipped out of the bed nice and quiet like and made my way to the shower. While washing myself in the shower I needed to answer the questions I just asked myself.

“What is wrong with you? Nothing, you just got caught up in the moment and fucked your boss’ 19 year-old daughter. Then the 17 year-old-sister wanted to fuck you and the only way they knew you would was to blackmail you.”

“How did you end up like this? You keep letting the little head do all the thinking.”
“How could you get involved with your boss’s wife? She was so depressed and vulnerable. I’m a fucking guy of course you got fuck a chick like that, no matter who the fuck she is. Grow a fucking pair. Dude, you just fucked your boss’ two daughters and laid some serious pipe with his wife, high fucking five.”

Well, you guys deserve a little recap and how I fucked the boss’ wife. It all started several weeks ago. It was closing time at the restaurant and I was in the men’s room taking a leak when Maria my boss’ oldest daughter walked in on me and got a good look at my manhood. A couple of days later I smacked her on the ass and then we wrestled a little in the ladies room and ended up fucking her. That is when Maria informed me that she shared everything with her sister, including the men she had been with.

Elani her sister cornered me a few days later at the restaurant and Maria and Elani blackmailed me to fuck Elani. I was told if I didn’t fuck her that the two of them would go to their father and tell him that I fucked both of them.

With as much enthusiasm as I could muster a few days later Elani delivered on her promise and fucked my brains out. She then revealed a family secret. Maria and Elani shared every man that had ever been with. That totaled whole two men in their short lives. I was one of them and the other was their father who they called Papa. As if I hadn’t already hit the lottery, Elani and Maria offered themselves to me in a three way and that is where we can pick up the story.

Elani is a 17 year-old teenage girl who just spent the last couple of hours fucking my brains out. She allowed me to cum in all of her young tight holes time and time again. Then she gave me a special gift and let me shave her pussy. It was only fair, after she fucked me the first time she got her father’s razor and shaved my cock, balls and asshole.

What a chick, just imagine what she is going to be like in ten years. As I was about to leave Elani said these glorious words to me, “You know Papa never fucked on my own bed. He makes me fuck him in his bed and a lot times he fantasizes that I am my mother. How about you come back tomorrow and you can fuck Maria and me at the same time? Maria and I never tried doing a guy at the same time. What do you Düzce Escort think?”

“Sounds good.”

“Oh goody, okay Papa I mean Paul see you tomorrow, don’t worry I’ll talk to Maria.”

We kissed each other and she sent me on my way and this is how I ended up fucking my boss’ wife. I had a full day to recover before attempting to take on two teenage girls who like to fuck with a lot of enthusiasm and had a no quit attitude until they got their man off.

The next day the phone rang and this time it was Maria who called. “Hey, Paul, listen Elani and I are going swimming now. Put on some trunks and get over here. Hurry up.” Once again I went through my routine of driving through the girl’s neighborhood looking for cars that I would recognize. Then driving past the house to make sure George or Tammy weren’t there. Passing by the house only Maria’s car was in the driveway. I parked around the corner again to make sure nobody got suspicious then made my way to the side of the house.

Coming up to the fence I wanted to spy on the girls a little see if they were lying out and drink in their bodies in the sunlight. Walking up to the fence I heard a small commotion but nothing too loud. Peeping through the hole in the fence the secret Elani revealed to me the day before was playing out in real life, right in front of me.

There was Maria lying on her back, her sister Elani was straddled her pussy above her face and there was Papa with his cock in Elani’s asshole. Yesterday she was screaming my name when my cock was in her asshole but this time her face was buried between her sister’s legs eating her pussy. I have to admit this was totally hot and the first time I had ever seen incest live and it was pretty hot.

George was doing a bang up job but Elani’s asshole is pretty tight and it didn’t take to long before he was ready to cum. George said something in Greek and Elani immediately got down on her knees. George said something else and Maria opened her mouth and George penetrated her mouth with his cock that just came out of her sisters’ asshole.

George was fucking Maria’s mouth as Elani moved behind her father and began eating his asshole. I guess it was too much for him as he pulled out of Maria’s mouth and she rolled over onto her knees. Both girls were now on their knees, kneeling in front of George. They both looked so angelic like they were ready to take their first holy communion. Then their Papa was jerking of load after load onto his daughters’ faces. When you first meet the girls you would never imagine they were like this but when they began to swap Papa’s cum in their mouths that image would never be erased from my consciousness.

Then like a needle being dragged across an LP out walked Tammy into the backyard. She was in a bikini herself. When she saw what her husband was doing she began to yell in Greek. Even though she was yelling in Greek you got the gist of what she was saying. She slapped and hit George repeatedly then she turned her attention to the girls who were crying and then they both ran into the house.

This was no place for me to interject anything especially since in the last ten days I had just fucked their daughters. So, I turned and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Since there wasn’t going to be any chance of fucking the girls today why not go to the beach and relax for the afternoon. While I was leaving the house my cell phone rang, it was Maria.

“Hello Paul”

“Yeah Maria what’ going on?” I wanted to see if she would tell me what just happened or was she going to lie to me.

“Listen you can’t come here right now.”

“Why? What’s going on because I’m close to the house right now? You okay? Do you need my help?”

“Look you know the deal with my father and all. Well, he surprised Elani and me when he came home about an hour ago. My Mom was out shopping for the afternoon but came home early. (Then there was a long pause maybe thirty seconds or so) Papa was fucking both of us and Mama walked out and caught us. She never knew about what was going on. Please don’t say anything to anyone. Call us later like tomorrow, okay/”

“Yeah okay. Be strong for you and your Papa and Mama. Later.”

She told me the truth which is pretty cool but I might as well go to the beach for the day and at least salvage my day off. On my way Düzce Escort Bayan back from the beach I stopped off at the local pub to get a drink or two before heading back to my place.

Sitting at the bar I looked through the mirror and sitting in a booth by herself was Tammy my boss’ wife. I was trying to keep a low profile so that she didn’t see me. I had no idea if the girls spilled the beans with me or not. I was still debating with myself for a few minutes as to whether to approach her. The decision was made for me. The bartender slid another beer over to me and said it was from the lady in the booth. I turned around and Tammy waved at me. There was no way to get out of this so I made my way over and sat down with her.

We spent several hours drinking together and Tammy revealed some things to me but not the full story. She said that George cheated on her and that it was more than likely it was over. I asked how the girls are taking it and she said that they didn’t know what to think right now. They wanted some time before they made any decisions as to whether they are going to stay with me or with George.

Then Tammy was shaking a little bit and she slid over to my side of the booth put her hand around my shoulder leaned forward and kissed me. She whispered in my ear, “I want you to take me somewhere where we can be alone can you do that? I want to get back at my husband for the things he’s done to me. Apparently this thing has been going on right under my nose for the past six years and I knew nothing. I feel like such an idiot.”

“Sure lets get a room for the night.” We stopped and bought a couple more beverages of choice and headed off to the no tell motel. Standing at the doorway Tammy was swaying back and forth and just as I got the door open she jumped on my back and rode my back into the room. Plopping her down on the bed Tammy rolled over on her back. “Come here.”

Standing there and gazing down at her the resemblance between the girls and their mother was uncanny. Tammy was 40 years old she still had a very beautiful face, she stood 5’-6” she was a full like 34-c and her ass still had the POW to it. There was no sagging and no saddlebags like most women her age. She worked out every day and you can see it really paid off for her. Admiring her like this the only thing I could think of was how stupid George was but then again he was fucking the younger versions of her. He was fucking his little girls.

Standing there at the edged of the bed I just hoped that I wouldn’t say one of the girl’s names while I was fucking her. Tammy came to the side of the bed stood up and kissed me softly and passionately. My hands moved to her ass. It was nice and hard just like the girls’. After fucking both of her daughters there was a sense of familiarity between all three. It was nice to be with an older woman again who knew how to kiss seductively, how to pet and caress you.

Tammy unzipped my pants and sat on the bed. Reaching inside of my pants she released my manhood from my pants. Aggressively Tammy began moving her hand up and down on my shaft pumping more and more blood to the shaft making it like a steel rod. Tammy was now using her tongue on the head of my cock. She was working her magic, it seemed she was touching each sensitive nerve ending in the tip of my cock. No one had ever sucked me like this. Then I watched all 7” of my manhood disappear in her mouth and then down her throat. With my hands on the back of her head and thrusting slowly forwards and backwards allowed her tongue to slip out and lick the bottom of my balls.

It was nice to be with a woman who could swallow my cock without gagging and was enthusiastic about eating me. After a few minutes I was ready to explode but I didn’t want to finish so soon. I wanted to fuck her not just get a blowjob. I pulled out of her mouth and while slapping my cock on her face Tammy opened her blouse and her bra. Then she wrapped my cock with her soft tits and started to bop up and down titty fucking me. As my cock slid out the top of her breasts Tammy would kiss and she nibble on my head.

Tammy had worked me into such a frenzy once again I was ready to cum. I backed away from her and tossed her on the bed. I began furiously stripping off the rest of her clothes. When we were both finally naked I wanted to return the favor and went down Escort Düzce on her but Tammy did not want to be out done. Tammy pushed me down on my back and as I lay there Tammy straddled her cunt on my face. She was grinding her cunt all over my mouth. Tammy was insatiable as she went down on me again but took it a step further as she began to toss my salad.

Now this is what I was looking for a woman who wasn’t inhibited about anything and is willing to take it to the next level. I myself wanting to get Greek with her began eating her from her clit to her balloon knot. After several minutes of cleaning her holes and Tammy eating my ass clean she spun around and mounted my manhood. The feeling of her wet hot pussy gliding up and down on my cock made me explode inside of her. I must have shot five or six time inside of her.

Tammy looked a little upset that I came inside of her so she squatted over my cock and with the help of a couple of pussy farts cum began to ooze out of her cunt down on top of me. Then Tammy sucked her cum and mine off the shaft of my cock then swallowed both. Tammy smiled and said, “Now, that we got the fast one out of the way I am going to show you what it means to be a Greek. I hope you’re not shy.”

Tammy got up and poured us a couple of drinks. When she came back over to the bed she said, “Thank you for doing this. I can’t believe my husband –
Oh I shouldn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay Tammy I don’t feel so great either I just cheated on my wife and even though she is in Thailand.”

“Yeah you feel so bad huh I don’t believe you. The girls told me everything that they were fucking their dad for the past six years and that you did both of them in the last couple of days. Don’t worry about it they were always precocious young girls. Look never let me catch you fucking them okay? Do we have a deal? You still have to fuck me now that I left my husband.”

“I think I can handle all of that.”

Rolling over I began working on her breasts as I got a finger inside of her pussy. It was so wet with both of our cum still oozing out. As was fingering her I got another finger in her asshole. My cock started to get a rise and I pushed her on her stomach. She spread her ass cheeks apart and said, “Get it nice and wet and then fuck me.”

I spit on her asshole and tongue fucked her for a while and by then I was hard again. “Come Paul, you want to know what it’s like to be Greek?”

“I certainly do.” I pushed myself inside of her. She was the first woman that I didn’t have to force myself to get my cock inside her asshole. Laying on her stomach she raised her taut little ass and gave me greater access. My cock went balls deep inside of her. I pounded her over and over again. I came inside of her again and again she let the cum ooze from her hole down onto my cock and licked everything up.

All I know was that we fucked the rest of the night and Tammy got used to me cumming inside of her. After cumming several more times inside of her pussy and her asshole I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move anymore.

Laying together the next few minutes catching our breaths we hugged each other and in our drunken states we fell asleep. Several hours later I woke to Tammy sucking on me again. I guess some of the alcohol had worn off because I sprung right back.

When Tammy had gotten me hard again Tammy said, “Let’s go to the shower. We got into the shower and cleaned ourselves then she started out by mounting me again. I put my fingers in her mouth and she got them nice and wet. While she was hanging on me I attempted to slip both fingers inside of her asshole but couldn’t get both. So I started with just one and after a few minutes I was able to slip in the second. After she came on my cock again she lifted up and off of me and bent over then I slipped my cock in her asshole.

Tammy began to speak in Greek I couldn’t understand anything she was saying but I definitely understood her asshole squeezing me. There was no comparison to her daughters. Tammy was a much better lover than they were but with all the years of experience cannot be taught to blank slates like her daughters.

Tammy looked back at and said something in Greek and let my cock slip out. Tammy began to suck on my cock right out of her asshole. With her cock sucking skills it took a minute when she got me to the point of cumming. I didn’t want to cum so quickly so I said, ““Oooh Tammy you keep sucking me like that and you’re going to make me cum in your mmmmoooouuuutttthhhh.”

Now you are all caught up.

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We all have had own individual experiences as to how we introduced to wonders of sex be by others or by ourselves. This may have happen early in our lives or other times on our way tp sexual maturity.

My experience began at age 10. While I was walking to a playground a couple of blocks from where I lived, an older boy whom I knew called me to come over to the garage where he was . He asked how I was and the said ”Have you ever seen one like this!” and unzipped his jeans and reached in and pulled out his flaccid penis. I stared at itt s he squeezed it and it grew larger in his hands. As it got stiff and was pointing straight at me he began to stroke it back and forth. I was amazed on how big it got and the size of bell shaped head at it’s end. As he massaged it, drops seeped from the hole in the end. He then reached out his hand to mind and said “Put your hand around it and do what I was doing.” I was afraid but did as I was told and as I felt his hot erect penis “Lick it with your tongue.” Scared or not, I did not want to do that and pulled my hand away from his penis and ran home.

I wasn’t long after this experience that during the night while sleeping I would be dreaming and somewhere in the dream I felt like I was falling and the feeling was pleasant. At this time in my life I was having the most wonderful feeling dreams. Several times when I woke up in the morning, I noticed the bed sheets were damp. I wondered if I might of peed in the bed but found out later in my life that I was just approaching puberty and that what was happening was I was having a wet dream.

As these things were happening to me I did notice that my penis was getting larger and it would get erect more often and it felt real good when I rubbed it . I was taking a shower one Saturday evening and my penis was erect and being all soapy, I began to squeeze and stroke it as it got hard. The more I played with it the better I felt when all of a sudden, my body tensed and the wonderful feeling that I had experienced during my dreams overtook me and my penis started to shoot white stuff from it. The feeling was so intense that I almost fell to mt knees. As my penis stopped squirting and the ecstacy left me. That feeling was so wonder ful that after I finished my shower, I played with my penis getting it hard again and spitting in my hand for lubrication I jerked on my erect penis until I was shooting again and experiencing that oh so great feeling that came with me shooting stuff from my penis. I later learned that I was masturbating and that when my penis shot off that I was ejaculating my sperm and that’s how one could get a woman pregnant my ejaculating his sperm into her.

Hair was now also growing around my penis and balls as I got older. My penis was also getting longer and getting more girth to it as I masturbated 3-4 times a day. I was mostly a solo thing until I was a senior in HS and went out with a freshman. She was very well developed and we went bowling and parked afterwards. I had never had my hands on a girls breasts before that night and making out I managed to unsnap her bra and feel bare tits. Thy were soft and spongy and her nipples were very hard. Feeling her tits wasn’t enough as I now got my hand down her pants so I could feel her crotch also. She unsnapped her jeans to give me better access and I pushed my hand under her panties and made my way down to her pussy. I felt her soft silky hair and I pushed my finger through her public Diyarbakır Escort hair to find that her pussy was very wet. With one hand, I was softly massaging her breasts and the other hand was exploring between her legs. This was all happening while we had a lip lock on each other. I continued to explore her body for some time. My penis was rock hard and straining to be released from its confines as by balls ached to be relieved. Before long we decided we better get home before her parents curfew. As we left, my balls were still aching from all the activity. We got to her house where I kissed her goodnight and went straight home and went upstairs to my bedroom and Jerked myself off three times in a half hour and the first cum shot, I shot the more than ever before.

She called me the next day and said she enjoyed our date and that her parents were going to a bowling tournament the up coming weekend and that she would be baby sitter her two younger siblings. She said her parents would be leaving Friday evening and coming back on Sunday. She told me she would call me were her parents had left and the siblings were in bed and I could then come over. She called me at about 8pm and said to come over around 9pm. At a little after 9, I knocked on the door and she opened it and told me to come in. She was wearing a bathrobe and what looked like flannel PJ’s underneath. I took off my coat and we sat on the couch and talked awhile and then I moved over and put my arm around her and gave her a kiss. This started the petting as we made out and I put my hand under robe and pajama top and began to feel her tits. She responded by undoing my jeans and searched and found my erect penis. After a while, she said “Lets go to my bedroom.” Her room was just off the livingroom and we went in there and closed the door. We sat on the bed and she looked in my eyes, took off her bathrobe and said “Let’s lay down on the bed..” We laid down on the bed beside each other and picked up where we left off in the livingroom. As we made out, I pushed her pajama top up so I could expose her breasts. She sat up and took off her pajama top and I gazed at two firm pert breasts the size of grapefruit. Her nipples were erect. Having never before seen naked breasts I looked in awe at these breasts. She laid back down and her breasts feel down on her chest and I brought my mouth to the nearest breast and put it the erect nipple and gave it a little suction. With my other hand, I reached over to her other breast and began to fondle it.

I released my mouth from her entrapped nipple and began to kiss her. We continued to kiss each other and this time deep open mouthed french type kissing with our tongues intertwining each other. I reached down and started to put my hand down her pajama bottoms when she reached down and pulled her bottoms off. My hand then went down to her belly and then down until I felt her soft furry mound. I played with her soft hair and a finger found her well moistened slit. As we broke from a kiss, I pulled myself up and moved down to get a look at her and explore her pussy as I have never seen what it looked like. I played with the hair around her pussy and then took my hands and spread her lips open to see moist pink flesh. I saw the opening to her vagina and rubbed her slippery slit and she let out a quiet little moan and I took interest in a little mound off flesh at the top of her pussy. I ran my finger up her wet slit and then rubbed Diyarbakır Escort Bayan that little mound and she shivered and said “Don’t stop, that feels so good.” I continued to rub it and every now and then took my finger and went down to her juicy lips and got my finger all full of juice and then brought it back up continued my massaging. Soon she let out a deep gasp, pushed my hand down on where I was massaging and her pussy convulsed over and over as she shook and moaned loudly. This when on for a good minute or more before she slowly relaxed.

After she composed herself, she turned her attention to my still stiff penis. She ran her fingers up and down the shaft and the made circles around the rim of my bell shaped head. That sent shivers down my spine and she took er other hand and fondled my nuts. She the put her fingers around my shaft by my nuts and slowly squeezed and drew her hand up my shaft and when she reached the head, rubbed her hand around the head gathering up the juice that was oozing from it. She kept stroking my penis and then as her hand got to the base of my penis and she began to go back up my shaft, I could not hold on and I groaned a let loose my sperm as it shot up my shaft and spirting out of my penis high into the air and falling back down on my belly. I kept erupted shot after shot of hot sperm jetting into the air. Masturbating never game me such ecstacy when I jerked off by myself. When I stopped coming, she bent over and gave my penis a kiss and said it tasted good.

After as we lay there for a while we hugged and began to kiss again and foundling began as we explored each others bodies again. I began to thrust my penis against her as we kissed and fondled each other. The feeling of my penis rubbing against her thigh was beginning to get the best of me and in a few mor thrusts, I came again shooting sperm all over her thigh. After this, we got up and dressed and went to the living room and watched TV and as it was real late I kissed her and went home.

The next evening, we got together at her house at about the same time as the night before. We went right to the bedroom and this time we made out a few minutes and then proceeded to that off our clothes and lay on the bed naked. As we lay there, she turn and went down to my penis and took it in her mouth and using her tongue, licked around the shaft and then began to suck it and move her mouth up and down my penis. Watching her was just to much for my mind to handle and my sperm shot up from my balls and filled her mouth with hot sperm. As I continued to ejaculate into her mouth, the sperm began to ooze out of her corners of her mouth and down my penis. She removed her mouth and then licked the rest of my sperm from my penis. “Did you like that?” she asked. I wondered where she learned how to do that and replied “God ,yes.” She smiled at me and said “ I want you to to do the same to me. I want you to lick my pussy and feel your tongue licking me.”

Well I did not was anytime and had her lay down and she spread her legs open and reached down and with her fingers pull her lips opening her very wet pink pussy for me to lick. I lowered my head and stuck out my tongue and beginning from the bottom of her now dripping hot pussy, lapped upward until I reached the top of her slit. The aroma her hot pussy was intoxicating and I repeated my licking from bottom to top of her pussy. Her legs would twitch a little as I kept up my Escort Diyarbakır licking. The next time I got to the top of her pussy, she took my head in her hands and pulled it up until I was over the swollen bump where her pussy lips met. “Lick me here, lick and suck me here!” I swirled my tongue around her swollen mound and flicked across it. She moaned and I then began to suck lightly on this little bud and she reacted by moaning louder and then she pulled my head tightly into her pussy and squeezed my head with her legs as her body shook and I felt her pussy contracting as she moaned in ecstasy. After a couple of minutes she relaxed and I removed my head and looked at her. “Wow!!” I said. “What was that?” She smiled and said “You made me feel as good as I made you feel when you shot your load in my mouth.” I then laid beside her and we rested.

After a little rest, my penis twitch and I wanted to fuck her, but I didn’t want to get her pregnant. As we lay there, I looked at her and said “I want to fuck you but I don’t want to get you pregnant.” She looked back at me and said “I want you to fuck me too, but like you said I don’t want to get pregnant.” I thought a while and then told her to get on her hands and knees. She got on her hands and knees and I got behind her stroking my hardening penis and with my other hand ran my hand around to her ass and massaged her ass cheeks and then between her cheeks and found her tight little asshole. I fingered it and her ass twitched a little. I pulled her up to her and took my erect penis and rubbed it head around her asshole. My penis was seeping out of the end giving lubrication to her asshole. “I’m going to put my penis in you ass” she replied “ Be gentle, don’t hurt me.” I said “ I won’t.” and applied pressure to her hole with the head of my penis. I took my time and pushed a little bit of it into her ass. It was very tight and very hot. I then relaxed and let her get used to it and then gave her more of my penis. She had to be enjoying it as she began to push back to me as I pushed more and more of my throbbing penis into her. I had just about all of it in her and then began to pump it in and out of her hot slippery asshole. As I was pumping her ass, she reached under herself and began to work on her pussy. I felt my sperm building and told her that I was about to shoot in her ass. The pace in which she was masturbating her pussy increased and I shoved my penis as far into her asshole as it would go and began to unload my sperm into her ass. I felt her asshole began to contract as she buried her hand deep into her pussy and pushed her ass into me as closed my eyes in the ecstasy of my ejaculation and she kept moaning til her orgasm had passed and then fell forward and my deflating penis popped from her asshole. This was better than masturbating and even better than having a blowjob. Ejaculating into her was the more erotic and the ecstasy from felling you comming in her was the best ever.

I put my clothes on and told her that I wanted to continue to see her and she agreed. I still was curious as to where she learned to go down on me. May be I would find out the next time we get together.

I got home and took a shower and went to bed and laid there reminiscing on what had transpired that evening. I laid on my back and masturbated my penis and ejaculated and rolled over and fell asleep.

I didn’t see or hear from her for the next few days, and the memories of that night kept me very active as I masturbated a couple of times a day fantasying on what we could do the next time we got together. Not being involve with the opposite sex until this late in my teen gave me lots of reason to make up for lost time with her.

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A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a Diyarbakır Escort Diyarbakır Bayan”>Diyarbakır Escort Bayan Escort few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?”
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!”
“Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”

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James has had a rough time of it since his wife died. His daughter Gina sees him using alcohol for his pain and steps in to help before it’s too late.

Hope you enjoy the story! Xo DG

Chapter 01

James…

The tinkle of ice against the crystal glass, the heat of the Florida sun, and the splashing in the aquamarine pool were vague and far away in my vodka-infused haze.

“I mean, I’m sorry but she is so fucking hot,” he said, actually groaning aloud. “That rack. She must be a D cup. And those legs… I would love to feel them locked around me while I was buried deep in that sweet pussy.” My head swung around and I blinked to bring John into focus. He glanced at me for a moment, then swung his gaze back to the blonde perched on the high lifeguard stand.

I glanced at her, took a last swig of icy vodka, and motioned for another. I looked for and found the source of the buzzing in my ears. Bees swarmed the flaming orange hibiscus that surrounded the pool, as much for privacy as for landscape color. The country club was well-appointed aesthetically as well as any luxury a member would need. A tiny lizard caught my attention. He was on the branch and I contemplated whether a bee would sting him.

“James, I know I shouldn’t be talking about her like that. Sorry old man. If I was you I’d be incensed. But you’re too shitfaced.” His nervous laugh got my attention and I turned to see him still staring, and nearly drooling at the object of his lust.

“I -” I stopped while the server placed a fresh club monogrammed napkin on the table along with the drink. Rivulets of water ran down the sparkling crystal when the hot air hit the cold glass. The snow white napkin sucked it up and fascinated, I watched the water ring form and slowly spread.

“What was that?” John asked when I didn’t continue. But I was too slow to respond for him and he continued. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were angered.” I quickly downed the vodka. “I know you’ve been having a tough time of it. I mean with your wife and all,” he said in a nicer tone, trailing off before getting in deeper.

I opened my mouth while trying to assimilate thoughts and words. Suddenly the blonde stood up, grabbed her towel, and climbed down the ladder. She exchanged a few words with a brunette wearing the same swimsuit before walking over to our table. She stood between my wide-open legs and leaned on the arms of my chair. Her face was blurry, but I recognized her.

Leaning over she whispered in my ear, “Dad you’re drinking too much, I’ll drive you home. We’ll pick your car up tomorrow.” I nodded. She looked over at John. “Mr. Jeffries, hello, how are you?”

“Happy to see you, Gina,” he grinned and she laughed. She turned and walked towards the clubhouse. “You’re a lucky man, James. Damn lucky.”

I watched her walk away, the fog of the vodka not allowing me a coherent thought. Then again, it had been six months since I had any real thoughts about much of anything.

“C’mon Dad,” Gina said opening the car door. I swung my feet out and stood up in one motion. My world spun. “Be careful!” She braced me between her body and the car before I fell. With her arm around my waist, we made it to the door. I teetered while she unlocked the door and shoved it open.

“I got this,” I mumbled after she closed the door behind us.

“No way. I don’t trust you. You need to sleep it off.”

She guided me to the bedroom, pulled my shirt over my head, and removed my shoes and socks. She pulled the covers back and motioned for me to get into bed. I followed instructions while she pulled the drapes over the French doors. The room was plunged into darkness. She stood next to the bed.

“Thank you, baby,” I said. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

“This has become a habit with you since mom… Since mom died.” She stood up quickly and while she walked out of the room said, “I need to get out of these clothes.” She had to wear country club clothes while she was there and always changed as soon as she got home. This time I knew she needed to escape from the situation. My situation.

I hadn’t handled the sudden death of my wife well. I found that the numbing alcohol was the only thing that gave me relief. I also knew I hadn’t been there for my daughter as I should have been.

She came back wearing a white tank top and grey knit shorts and sat on the edge of the bed. The tank stretched tight across her breasts, dark shadows of nipples poking through the thin fabric. Damn that John, I thought.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked. She brushed the hair off my forehead.

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?”

“Would you lay with me a while?” I asked, wondering as the words came out of my mouth where that came from. It was too late to take them back now.

“I’d love to,” she said smiling. She leaned over and turned the bedside lamp off.

I held the covers up and she slipped in next to me. She put her head on my shoulder and her arm across Didim Escort my chest. Her soft breath blew warm puffs across my skin. When I placed my hand on her side, on her ribs, she leaned into me. Her firm but soft breasts pressed into my side, her legs stretched out against mine.

The last thought I had before falling asleep is that I haven’t felt this loved in six months.

Gina…

I saw that old lecher sitting with dad and cringed. First, because dad had another drink every time I looked over. Second, that creepy old guy was always checking me out. He wasn’t much older than my dad but was probably fifty pounds heavier and it was all in his belly. He wasn’t the model of manscaping or skin care.

Dad always took pride in his appearance and kept his thick hair styled and trimmed and his face shaved. Unlike John who had yellowing grey hair, dad has silvery hair that sparkles in the sun. Much of that was due to Mom who made sure he used the right shampoo and skin soap.

Our lives fell apart when she died. One minute she was here, the next she was gone. I still sometimes can’t believe she won’t just walk in the door. Worst of all, dad has not recovered at all. His drinking will become a problem if something isn’t done about it now. He needs distraction from the pain. The corporation nearly runs itself and takes little of his time. His dad, my grandpa, started the business fifty years ago and turned it into an empire.

We live in my grandparent’s home now. Six bedrooms and seven baths mansion is a better word for it. The first thing I did when we moved in was to redecorate my bedroom and renovate the bathroom. The remainder of the house was stuck in my grandparent’s era. Mom was not a decorator nor ever even had an interest in making any changes in the house.

It wouldn’t be the first time I had to drive dad home from the club because he had too much to drink. I had to find a way to make it that last. He had to set the booze down and leave it alone. He needed a purpose.

Snuggling in next to him was unbelievably comforting. I felt protected, but I also felt protecting of him. He fell asleep first and not long after I did as well.

Some hours later I woke up tight against his hard body. He had stayed in shape by going to the gym and playing golf regularly. Sometimes while I slept I threw my leg over him, and my tits were mashed against his side and on his chest. It occurred to me his cock was hot and hard under my thigh at the same time my nipples hardened.

This can’t be happening. It’s my dad, for god’s sake I thought.

He stirred slightly and I realized his hand was tucked under my breast. His thumb on the sensitive underside. My thin t-shirt served no barrier to the heat. I didn’t move. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to feel.

James…

I was startled awake not knowing where I was, who I was with, or even what time it was. It slowly came back to me. The whole thing. Now that I was sober, I realized what an ugly scene it had to have been.

Gina stirred against me, pressing tighter into me. My cock throbbed under the soft skin of her inner thigh. My hand was nearly on her tit, my finger inches from her nipple. The sweet scent of her hair draped over my shoulder and on my chest. Her tit mashed into my side poking her hard nipple into me with each breath.

I was now hyper-aware of every sensation. She sighed and slid her hand up my chest to my shoulder, which pulled the bottom edge of her shirt from under my hand. Her hot skin under my fingertips was so enticing. When she moved, her thigh rubbed my cock and I gasped from pleasure. My cock began throbbing hard and I could tell by her breathing she was awake.

“Mmm, morning daddy,” she whispered giggling. She took her hand off my shoulder and twisted back to stretch her arm high.

When she moved, her tit dropped into my hand. Oh my god, it was so soft and firm at the same time. Her nipple hardened in my palm. I didn’t move. I didn’t want to break the spell. I knew she would soon realize how wrong it was for us to do this and that would be the end of it. Before it even started.

But she didn’t move but stretched her hand behind her head which pressed that sweet flesh harder into my hand.

“This was nice, dad,” she whispered.

“It was, baby. It really was.” I hesitated. “But I need to apologize for earlier. I—”

“Let’s not talk about it. Let’s just enjoy each other for a bit hmm.”

“Yes. I love you.”

“I love you too, daddy.”

I slowly moved my hand letting my fingers trail over the mound of her breast and lightly grazing her hard nipples before moving my hand down her side to rest lightly on her hip.

Suddenly she rolled up to her knees and leaned on each side of my shoulders. Her long hair draped around our faces like a shimmering curtain of privacy. Her breasts hung like melons and swayed in the thin t-shirt.

She brushed Didim Escort Bayan my lips with hers and said, “I’m going to get dinner started. Why don’t you stay here for a while and… enjoy yourself.” She smiled and again brushed her lips over mine.

The door had barely closed behind her and I had my dick in my hand. With the foreplay we just had, I came hard and loud in minutes.

Gina…

His cock felt so good under my thigh. I didn’t care if he was my dad. He was a man. A sexy man that’s turning me on in all ways.

I hadn’t dated much since mom died. Not that men didn’t try at the country club. I just never took anyone up on it. I worked full-time there in the summer and full-time in college the rest of the year. I enjoyed being there. Everyone was nice, they treated their employees very well, and we could make use of everything the club members did.

When I started working there three summers ago, the manager hired me on the spot. He was older than me but not as old as dad. He had been a model, a quite successful model I discovered.

His blue-green eyes easily had the girl that had just graduated high school. The first time he called me into his office. He told me how sexy I looked in the lifeguard bathing suit. I laughed because it wasn’t revealing. Nothing like the bikini I wore at the beach.

He stood behind me in front of the mirror. My breasts were large enough that there was a hint of cleavage in the high scoop neckline. Because I was a D cup, the suit stretched tightly across my mountains. He ran his hands up my sides and over my breasts bringing my nipples to hard knots that poked out through the red knit.

He slowly slid the straps over my shoulders and inch by inch revealed my tits. He moaned in my ear and told me what a gorgeous body I had. He slipped his hand into my suit and between my legs. He was experienced and brought me to a sobbing orgasm. While I fell apart in his arms, he pushed my suit off. I was naked and he made me feel beautiful.

He fucked me from behind while we watched in the mirror. He made me watch myself cum. He made sure I understood that he came that hard because of me. That I got him that hot. He taught me how to be a lover that summer.

He would bend me over his desk and take me from behind. He would sit me on the edge of his desk and eat me until I had a screaming orgasm. Then he would drive into me and I would come on his cock. I would straddle him on his desk chair and bounce us to groaning orgasms. We would sneak into the showers in the locker room and fuck. We fucked in the steam room and sauna. We fucked on the dewy grass of the ninth hole. We fucked in a golf cart and on the tennis court. And we fucked, swam, and played in the pool half the night.

By the end of that summer, I was a sensual sexual woman.

James…

I sat at the table and watched Gina working in the kitchen. She couldn’t have looked sexier in that tight tank and shorts. I was no longer perplexed about my feelings toward her. I no longer argued with myself as to whether our relationship was right or wrong. I decided to take it as it came. Let her lead.

She set the table and glanced at me before going to get the food. “What are you looking at?” she smiled cheekily.

I just grinned, not about to tell her I was imagining her naked in the kitchen. How I wanted to set her on the table and feast on her sweet pussy. And how I wanted to titty fuck her. Oh god, how I wanted to titty fuck those luscious tits.

We sat across from each other talking about anything and everything as we ate. I helped her clear the dishes and she loaded the dishwasher.

“I’m going up to shower,” she said after putting the finishing touches on the kitchen.

“Me too. I’m going to the office for a while today.”

Before I left I went to her room, which was on another wing of the second floor. The door was open. The scent of roses wafted on the damp steamy air in clouds coming out the open door of her bathroom. I hadn’t been to her room in quite some time so I took a moment to take in her style.

Where mine was white with flowers, thanks to my wife. Gina used greys, black, and chrome creating an intimate atmosphere. Subdued lighting, thick carpeting, and a variety of textures made it an inviting and relaxing environment. Her bedspread was soft black velvet that shimmered in the soft lighting. Even a bright morning didn’t interrupt the comforting aura.

“Daddy!” she came out, belting her short white terry robe. A towel was turban style wrapping her head. I was stunned at her beauty. No makeup or hair to take away from her gorgeous face. She came up to me. “Mmm, you smell nice.”

“So do you, baby. Like roses.” I looked at her face. “You remind me so much of your mom. You got her best features and thankfully none of mine.” I chuckled ruefully.

She rested her arms on my shoulders, her face inches from mine. “I’d hope not. I wouldn’t want to be as Escort Didim handsome as you are. You needed a son to carry on those genes. We do have the same eyes!” she smiled, her ice-blue eyes locking with mine.

I willed myself not to touch her. I couldn’t trust myself. Had I held her waist, I would’ve had to pull her against me. If I’d done that, she would have felt the throbbing hard-on in my pants that were currently hidden by my suit jacket.

“I’m off today, will you be late?” she asked.

“No, I’m only going in for a few hours. I’ll be back early afternoon.”

She smiled and pressed her lips on mine, then turned and walked away. Her robe was short enough to see the bottom curves of her fantastic ass. I turned and fled the room.

Gina…

If dad would have walked into my room a minute sooner he would have heard me moaning out a trembling orgasm. He would have heard me saying his name as I envisioned him in there with me. But that will happen soon enough.

I dressed and went to prepare a chicken salad and fruit for lunch. I set the table at the pool for lunch, stashed the food in the refrigerator in the outdoor kitchen, and went to my room to put on my bikini. I grabbed a book I’d been wanting to read and headed to the pool.

Another beautiful sunny day in Florida and I intended to enjoy it. Since the relationship between us changed, it has felt as though a weight lifted off my shoulders. Since mom died, I was in a grey fog. I wanted dad to emerge from that fog with me. It was time we both moved on.

“Ah, my sun bunny is out here!”

I was stretched out on the chaise, wearing my favorite neon orange bikini. It not only showed off my tan but my best asset… my tits. Not that men wouldn’t notice them if they were covered. My lifeguard suit is complete coverage, but men still ogle.

“Yes! Get your suit on and join me. I have lunch in the fridge when you’re ready.”

Dad kept up with the latest men’s styles, but one thing trend he didn’t follow was the baggy shorts men wore to the beach. And I loved it. His shorts were snug, knit, and ended at his upper thigh. He did only wear them here at our pool, and now I was even happier about that because I realized how they showed off the considerable bulge. The women at the club would be ogling him if they saw him in those shorts.

He dropped his towel on the chaise next to mine and dove into the pool. He came up sputtering and splashing. I yelped when the water hit my sun-hot skin. The only thing I could do was run and jump in too.

When I surfaced he dove between my legs and pushed me high while I straddled his shoulders. I tucked my feet between his arms and side and he had his hands on my thighs. Suddenly he dropped, came up, and tossed me off his shoulders.

We laughed as we wrestled in the water, always our fun pool time. He grabbed me around the waist from behind and as I bent forward, my ass ground into his dick. It was semi-hard and quickly engorged. I held his hands around my waist knowing he would let me go. He tried, but with a low growl tightened his grip and allowed me to push back into him.

“Oh baby,” he said, his voice trembling. I leaned my head back on his shoulder and just enjoyed the hardness throbbing against my ass. “It has been a long time since I’ve had someone so close to me. Yesterday and then now…”

I turned my head, my lips near his ear. “It’s okay daddy. It’s all good.” He groaned and wrapped his arms around me holding me close and tight. After a few moments, I said, “I’m getting hungry. Can you lunch too?”

While I got the food ready, out of the corner of my eye I caught his cock tenting his swim shorts. He grabbed his towel, wrapped it around his waist, and came to sit at the table.

I didn’t put on my cover-up, deciding he needed some eye candy. My tits were so big that they usually rested on the table as I ate unless I sat back in the chair. Of course, I sat close to the table and smiled indulgently when he kept glancing at them.

We talked for a while when we finished eating and I began to yawn. “I think I need a nap. How about you?”

“I could yes, great idea,” he said, getting up to help clear the dishes.

“I’ll meet you in my room,” I said. When he looked as though he was going to say something, or make an excuse, I turned and walked into the house before he had a chance.

When I redecorated my room, I had the lighting follow voice instructions. When I came out of the bathroom after a quick rinse, I said, “Intimate lighting.” Immediately the room plunged into a dark intimate place with just enough mood lighting.

James…

It was like the flip of a light switch. Our pool play went from innocent father-daughter fun to latent seduction. I let Gina take the lead and today I could see where we were headed. I can’t say how I felt about it yet. My dick said go for it, but my brain said wait for a minute old man. I acquiesced and said I won’t wait, but I will take it slow.

Her velvet bedspread was pushed back revealing dove-grey sheets. The lighting was intimate, as I’m sure was intended. Just then she walked out of her bathroom. I stopped. Just when I thought she couldn’t look more beautiful, she knocked me off my feet.

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